Top ten lists – everybody loves them. Everybody writes them. Someone else has probably already written this one. But here, nonetheless, is my modest contribution to the genre:
10 Things I Didn’t Know About Parenting But Have Been Forced To Find Out
- Sleep deprivation as a concept and sleep deprivation as an experience are two completely different things.
- Projectile poop as a concept and projectile poop as an experience are also two completely different things.
- It is possible to sleep when the baby sleeps. All you need is a cook, a maid, and a catheter.
- To a toddler, “no” isn’t so much a word as a mantra.
- To a preschooler, “no” isn’t so much a rebuke as a call to arms.
- What goes up (the back of the sofa) must come down (with a very loud thunk).
- What goes in (one end) must come out (the other) — and some of it doesn’t change a whole lot in between.
- Anyone who thinks that children have limited attention spans has never read “Goodnight Moon” 57 times in a row.
- Never buy refurbished computer equipment – you really don’t know what’s hiding in that keyboard.
- Perfect parenting is not required to raise perfectly awesome children.
What have your kids taught you?