being mom

Does it get better? DOES IT???

So I realize that I haven’t been all that much fun to be around lately, but if you can bear with me a little longer, I need some help with this one.

For anyone who has somehow been spared my Facebook moaning, the virtual ink had barely dried on this tale of woe when we found out the day care was closing. Inelegantly, precipitously, and gut-wrenchingly closing.

After a mad scramble by parents and staff to find other work/care, the last day was Friday. I had to pick the girls up at noon, and just as we were leaving, Naru skidded into the room. “Oh good, you’re still here!” She knew we were leaving early, and she’d had a meeting with her new employer in the morning, so she skipped the bus and instead took a cab all the way from Barrhaven just to make sure she could say goodbye to my girls.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why this has been so hard. The staff of Northern Lights were AMAZING. They were like family. The only problem was the lying*, incompetent** asshat** board of directors.

And I am not using these terms lightly:

* Lying: Just last January, they assured both us and the Ministry that they were in the daycare business for the long-haul. They have repeatedly told the parents that the daycare is losing money, but have listed the building for sale with “a daycare business that is cash-flow positive.”

** Incompetent: a string of bone-headed failures to comply with Ministry standards led to a prolonged closure of the daycare last Christmas. And with waiting lists EVERYWHERE, who on earth can’t make money running the ONLY daycare in the school district? That’s even before we get into the accounting… irregularities.

** Asshat: Ok, I’m indulging in some artistic license here.

But I digress. I really really don’t want this post to be about the asshats. This is about my girls.

So here we are. Yesterday, I dropped Maddy off at her new daycare. She cried when I brought her into the room, and howled when I left. Never in her 3 years on earth have I left her in a new place all alone before: when she started daycare, she had her big sister with her.

When I picked her up at the end of the day, she was crying. Not OMG-mommy-I-just-remembered-you-exist! crying, this had clearly started long before I arrived.  Any time I asked her about her day, all she would say is “I cried for you, mommy”.

Which of course makes me if she WAS fine when I called at 10:00.

Today? Today was worse. Maddy was already upset before we got to the car. Meena threw an inexplicable (and thoroughly uncharacteristic) tantrum while Zach tried to belt her into her car seat. Maddy dragged herself up the stairs at the daycare with the pace (and demeanor) of one headed for the guillotine. Meena looked at the near-empty SK room with dismay and gave me a look that said “you aren’t going to LEAVE me here, are you?”

And here is what I want to know, from someone who has been here: does it get better? REALLY? It’s what I keep telling my kids. Tough to do when I’m having such a hard time believing it myself.


    1. Thanks, man. I just wish I knew if we’d made the right decision. There were home daycares, too. At least they’d have been together.

    1. Thanks Deb! Yeah, walking away from your child while she screams is about the hardest thing you can do :(. My aunt, a junior kindergarten teacher, was able to assure me way back when that the kids are fine after you leave. She had this horrible story of a mom who sat there in her car, crying, 3 feet away from the school yard fence while the teacher was trying to drag the kid off the fence. So walking away is supposedly the best thing you can do. Then you go cry elsewhere :|.

  1. Eee! How stressful. Hopefully time will help them adjust. Both my kids don’t do well with transitions, so beginning new things is often a tough process. Perhaps a week or two will make all the difference. Fingers crossed.

    1. Thanks Mary Lynn. Fingers crossed here, too. I don’t know if this is harder than when they first went into daycare, or if my memory is faulty. Probably the latter :|.

  2. seriously, daycare is such a hard thing, such a pain in the patootie, I can’t wait for my kids to be old enough for us not to need it. The of course there will something else to take it’s place but UGH. Hugs woman.

    1. YES. Next year, we go from half-day-SK/daycare + full day daycare to full day for EVERYONE (JK + grade 1). Then, according to the school, we can get into their after school program (but they don’t have a waiting list, and say they don’t need one. I’m ready to go in there and beg them to start one and put me on it :). Anyhow, really looking forward to everyone going to the same place at the same time and staying there all day. After that… I guess is when we book off February to schedule all the summer camps? 😉

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