Fasten Your Seatbelts
Did I say bumpy ride? Fucking roller coaster is more like it. I knew when I got all charged up yesterday that I was just headed for a crash. Why can’t I just walk sedately into this whole weight loss thing? Just make a plan, and follow it? But no, I have to swing wildly from mania to misery, sometimes several times a day.
I just survived a doughnut meeting, by which I mean I got from the beginning to the end without stuffing my face with deep-fried sugar. This is particularly impressive because I started the day feeling awful, and would have given anything to drown my sorrows in carbohydrates.
So I should feel good about it, right? But I don’t. Instead I’m just bitter. Because I could be eating that doughnut, but I’m not. And I’d feel so much better, right?
Of course not. I know that. At least the logical bit of me knows that. I sure wish that bit got to sit in the driver’s seat once in a while.
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You were stressed out. Then you had to go into a meeting. And then you had to sit there the whole time, telling yourself not to eat a doughnut. AND YOU DID IT! One Tim’s glazed doughnut has 320 calories (and 19 g of fat). To burn that, you’d have to jog like 2.5 miles. So I am just as proud of you as if you had just run 2.5 miles with a demon on your shoulder and a monkey on your back!
I like the way you think
. I did eventually cave (after the meeting) and went and bought one. But I logged it. So it’s not the same as running 2.5 miles, but it’s something. And in spite of that AND dumping my healthy lunch for a bagel, I can see from my log that the day is still recoverable. Feeling saner now – I’d call that a win. Thanks so much, for your support here and on FB.
listen to Wordywort, genius. I never thought of considering avoiding food almost like exercising. Genius I say!
you know what I think bites…you FIGHT the urge, your battle it out, your come out triumphant..that should be it right? We should have crowds cheering for us and we should feel settled and happy with ourselves…and yet we still carry that damn monkey on our back around…toying with us. Sometimes, the win is in DELAYING the cave in, winning the battle by inches. I used to think that way..I won by 20 min, 1 hour, 2 hours, a whole day. The longer and longer I got….till it lost some of its power. You can do this
I am proud of you!
Yes! That’s what I need! Crowds cheering
. Who am I kidding, though – I do have that: you guys rock 
.
She is brilliant, isn’t she?
. The nice thing about exercise, though, is once you’re done you’re done. You never get done avoiding 
.
My old weight loss program leader used to talk about ‘strengthening your willpower muscle’ and said that each time we said NO to something, or deferred our desire, that willpower muscle became stronger. So, in that sense it seems like you are on the right track.
As for the manic swings… I hear ya! I’m currently trying to not-diet, so I don’t conversely binge. It’s a slow process though!
Deb
I really like that idea – exercising your willpower like a muscle. It makes it feel like there’s a point to it, beyond just getting past that one doughnut (and the next one, and the next one). And the idea that it will get easier is better still. Thanks, Deb – I will be thinking this next time I need to work that muscle!!!
I like what Deb said. Envision yourself in the drivers seat smiling and giving the doughnut the finger.
Oooo, I like that too. The problem is, I sometimes let my mind wander and forget where I am (ask me some time about the MIL and the niqabs). I have this vision of me sitting in my group meeting and giving the Timmy’s boxes the finger.